In my four decades of life, I’ve observed that what’s old often becomes new again. We see this in fashion, music, art and philosophy. We evolve by inheriting lessons and picking up clues left by our elders. Over time, we’ve seen people around the world live longer and longer due to improvements in healthcare, sanitation, and food access worldwide – but also by learning, watching, absorbing and adapting from those around us. It’s taken me some time to reflect on why my mother, despite doing mostly all the “right things” like being vegetarian and never drinking, departed sooner than she should’ve, and question how I can learn, adapt and evolve from what she was hear to teach all of whom she touched.
I owe much of my drive and success to the unspoken lessons I inherited from my mother. She was simultaneously Wonder Woman, a magician and tragically also a martyr. I watched her constantly and consistently juggle what felt like 15 balls – everything from cooking and cleaning to raising four kids, to caring for her in-laws (who definitely mistreated her), all the while working a demanding, full time job. This was especially impressive since she was a Vietnam War refugee with limited English proficiency. My mother was tireless, a warrior who fought through all the intense pain she experienced from life and her autoimmune disease that progressed intensely from the time she was in her late thirties. I watched her continue to handle heavy iron woks, scrub our home’s hardwood floors while continuing to work her demanding job even after her wrists calcified. I watched her peel herself away from her family during her final years to live with relatives in Europe because our American healthcare system didn’t cover patients with preexisting conditions. She never asked herself what she wanted. She always acted in ways she believed was the best interest of everyone else.
My mother’s example taught me to ignore pain, exhaustion, and discomfort. She taught me that what one wanted didn’t matter. Sacrifice and endurance became my mantras which helped me power through jobs I disliked, terrible bosses, and countless sleepless nights during high school, college, and grad school. The mindset she passed along without verbalizing a word made holding multiple jobs and sidelining a traditional college experience to pay for tuition (and the coffee I needed for those all-nighters) an obvious choice. I could will myself through marathons with stress fractures and incredibly ambitious professional challenges. I saw it as my duty to plough through discomfort and push away mental barriers that held me back. For a very long time, I also became adept at ignoring what I wanted – to the point where I felt like I didn’t know myself anymore.
When it came to her family, my mother allowed her yang, the masculine energy of strength and power, to completely takeover. In her mind, she needed to in order to serve her family. And in many ways, her yang served us all well, but tragically, it was unsustainable. At the young age of 64, her overworked, overtired immune system gave out and she went down fighting during a 10 hour open-heart surgery.
I launched We Become in January 2024 to refocus and share with the world lessons I’ve learned on subject areas that make me whole, like fitness, nutrition, mental wellness, style and beauty – and to become more me. I was determined to succeed while maintaining all facets of me: my demanding full-time job, parental responsibilities as a foreign service spouse, commitments as a non-profit board member, and daughter in a multi-generational household. I established deadlines for myself to regularly publish posts, grow my subscriber list, and take classes to learn more about social media and entrepreneurship. Initially, I achieved my goals by pushing through like I always did, but soon I felt drained and the signs of burnout were rearing their ugly heads.
At first, I ignored these feelings of exhaustion and leaned into my mother’s willpower. But repeating her pain also didn’t feel right. I didn’t like how I behaved when I felt drained. I didn’t like the example I was setting for my son or how I treated my family when I didn’t feel my best. I didn’t like how quickly I lost my patience or lashed out at those who were closest to me. Life’s too short to be bitter, angry and tired. As I reflected on what more my mother can teach me, it’s that yang energy is amazing, but out of balance it’s not only insufficient it also has drawbacks. For one, in excess, it induces the negative, less pleasant sides of a person.
So I did something quite foreign to me – I gave myself permission to rest. And when I was sick, I actually took a sick day instead of powering through like before. Inspired by my mother’s practice of Chinese medicine, I saw an acupuncturist who told me I was out of balance with my yin energy, the feminine energy connected to intuition, healing, nurturing, and rest. While I impulsively wanted to disregard her advice, my intuition told me she was right. And after a few weeks, I listened. I asked myself to explore ways to magnetize and attract, and to approach my goals with more compassion.
To draw a parallel to the Olympics, Kerri Strug unforgettably willed her way past a severely injured ankle for her country and helped USA bring home the gold. That was an incredible achievement and she will forever go down in history as the badass who overcame. She epitomized this notion of mind of matter and was/is incredibly inspirational for us all. While that has a time and place, perhaps what the era of Simone Biles, the most decorated gymnast of all time, is here to teach us is that there’s also an incredibly important time and place for giving into your intuition and letting yourself heal and rest – so that you can continue, persist and endure.
Simone pulled herself out of the Tokyo Olympics in 2020 because of a bad case of the twisties. Since then, she allowed herself to heal by working on her mental health and listening to her intuition. Now, at 27 years young, she’s the oldest gymnast to compete in the US Olympics since 1952. I can see she has so much life ahead of her, but she is enduring longer than any other Olympian in her sport in the past 72 years. I think there’s wisdom in that. I believe she’s learned to balance her yin and yang energies.
For me, what’s old has become new again. My new (old) way of approaching life and work is to balance my yang with my yin. For those less familiar, this is an ancient concept from Lao Tzu, a Chinese philosopher from thousands of years ago (read below for a brief introduction).
I have a new goal to 10x my audience and viewership so I can better serve those who relate to and draw inspiration from We Become, but I want to do this with a greater balance. I will learn from what others’ past successes have to teach me. I will also give myself permission to trust my intuition and rest and heal when needed, so I can evolve, endure and sustain, and so that I – so that We Become the best we can be.
Understanding Yin and Yang Energy
Yin and yang are fundamental concepts in Chinese philosophy and traditional Chinese medicine that describe how seemingly opposite or contrary forces may actually be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world. These concepts are central to Taoist beliefs and have been used to understand the dynamics of the universe, human behavior, and health.
Yin Energy
Yin represents the feminine energy, characterized by qualities such as:
- Receptivity and Passivity: Yin energy is about being open and receptive, rather than initiating action. It embodies a state of allowing and accepting.
- Intuition and Sensitivity: This energy is connected with our inner selves, intuition, and emotions. It encourages introspection and sensitivity to our surroundings.
- Nurturing and Healing: Yin energy is calming and nurturing. It’s associated with healing, rest, and recuperation.
- Darkness and Coolness: Symbolically, yin is linked to the night, the moon, and cool temperatures, suggesting a need for rest and reflection.
- Softness and Flexibility: Yin is fluid and adaptable, emphasizing flexibility and gentleness.
Yang Energy
Yang represents the masculine energy, characterized by qualities such as:
- Action and Activity: Yang energy is about movement and taking initiative. It’s the driving force behind action and achievement.
- Ambition and Drive: This energy is associated with goals, ambition, and the drive to succeed and make things happen.
- Strength and Power: Yang energy embodies strength, power, and assertiveness.
- Light and Warmth: Symbolically, yang is linked to the day, the sun, and warmth, suggesting activity and growth.
- Hardness and Rigidity: Yang is structured and often rigid, emphasizing firmness and determination.
Balancing Yin and Yang
The key to wellness and harmony lies in balancing these two energies. In our fast-paced, goal-oriented society, there is often an overemphasis on yang energy, leading to burnout and disconnection from our inner selves. By nurturing our yin energy, we can achieve a more balanced and sustainable approach to life and work.
- Yin Activities: Practices like meditation, yoga, mindful breaks, nature walks, and journaling help cultivate yin energy. These activities encourage rest, reflection, and connection with our inner selves.
- Yang Activities: Setting goals, taking action, and working towards achievements are driven by yang energy. These activities are essential for progress and success but need to be balanced with yin practices to prevent burnout.
Understanding and balancing yin and yang energies can lead to a more harmonious and fulfilling life. By recognizing the importance of both, we can create a sustainable approach to work and well-being, allowing us to achieve our goals while maintaining our health and inner peace.
Does this post resonate with you? Do you feel like your yin and yang are balanced? I’d love to hear your reflections. Thanks for being here.
